what if you told your partner that it was okay, but in reality at the time you weren't completely uncomfortable and were lying to yourself that you did like it? would it still be considered rape?

As I think has been said before, a regrettable sexual experience is one that was consensual, whatever than means to you personally, but that later was not a good idea, or embarrassing.

Rape or sexual assault is when, at any point during the process, you became uncomfortable and either could not voice your complaint or stop the process. It is a sexual encounter that was not consensual (at any point) or a situation in which you could not give or hold back consent.

As someone who at the age of 10 was exposed to sexual experiences that I agreed to but didn't understand, I have been grappling with this question for a good portion my life. I believe I was raped. I was to young to really understand... but I have been told otherwise.

Rape is sex with someone who is unwilling or unable to consent. Even if there is consent, their age or mental state must be taken into consideration. If in the midst of the act one finds that they no longer want what is happening and the other person involved does not stop, it is still rape.
A regrettable sexual experience is a sexual act that you agree to, with full knowledge of what you are agreeing to, but regret afterward, for whatever reason.

Zitat von

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what if you told your partner that it was okay, but in reality at the time you weren't completely uncomfortable and were lying to yourself that you did like it? would it still be considered rape?

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In my opinion, no. Of course there are extraneous situations. For instance, if my boss tried to have sex with me and made hints that my job might be on the line if I don't agree to it and then because of pressure about my job i give consent, that's a whole different ball game. But in the facts of the situation that you presented I do not think the sexual partner is doing anything wrong or should be accused of rape when you have told them that you give your consent, even if you were lying. It's your job to be upfront with your partner. How else are they supposed to know?

A regrettable sexual experience is not a crime. Rape is a crime. The difference is what we "do about it."

In a regrettable sexual experience, those involved just regret it and move on, and the rest of us do nothing about it. Maybe gossip about it, or shun one or both. But nothing of consequence.

In a rape, we have an act that, if allowed to continue, will injure more victims and the rest of us as well. Based on the actions of those involved, someone is defined as a victim, someone is defined as an perpetrator. Someone has to report it, and the rest of us, acting through our representatives, will do a lot about it: investigate, arrest, confine, adjudicate, and imprison.

So... before you go defining rape based on microshades of consent or non-consent, seek to calculate the nano-second when it was given or not given, etc... be aware that when you call something rape, you are seeking to marshal the armed forces of law against the perpetrators. Ask yourself -- if we define this person as a rapist, will society be made better by locking up this person for five-to-ten, or perhaps forever?

If yes, then let's get on with it, and do a better job then we have done in the past. We need to figure out -- can rapists be rehabilitated? Can we use the same rules of evidence and process with sex crimes that we use with other crimes? Do these "sex offender" laws (can't live here or there or over there either) really work?