Knox Thoughts - A place for open discussion

The Theory and Performance Class has decided to research the issues of sexual assault and responsibility on the Knox Campus with the intention of filtering the anonymous research through a creative lens. Part of that process involves gathering perspectives and opinions from the students and faculty at Knox that have been generated about these issues. The goal is to get an idea of what the college is feeling and thinking about sexual assault and responsibility and to respond to that through a theatrical production.

To this end, we are inviting anyone on campus to respond to a few questions provided in this forum. We encourage you to add your own topics for discussion. To do this simply select click on the "Click Here for All Questions" link and then "Add new thread."

This forum is completely anonymous (you need not "log in"). Please respect the opinions and feelings of others in responding to comments.

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Which sexual experience is more satifying?

in Click Here For All Questions Tue Oct 26, 2010 8:41 pm
by KnoxThoughts • 12 Posts

A: Sex with a person you've only just met.

B: Sex with a friend with the understanding that it is 'just sex'. (Friends with benefits)

C: Sex with someone with whom you have already cultivated an emotionally intimate relationship.

In which of these situations do you feel like the sex could/has been more about satisfying your own personal needs?

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RE: Which sexual experience is more satifying?

in Click Here For All Questions Wed Oct 27, 2010 8:29 pm
by Guest

The answer is "none of the above." The alternatives A, B and C that you have offered are all backward-looking. But sex is forward-looking. I'm sorry to be a materialist here, but biology is more enlightening than all the divine revelations or human reasonings that we could bring to bear on this topic.

Why does sex feel good?

Allow me to suggest a cursory study on the latest research on oxytocin, the "commitment hormone" that comes into play in key pair-bonding situations, including intercourse and nursing.

Why, one could ask both rhetorically and really, would a pair-bonding-promoting hormone figure into these scenarios? Coincidence? After a million years of evolution, I doubt that it is either inconsequential or coincidental.

Here's the thought that always occurred to me: "What next?"

In pondering that question for years, I was not satisfied with the obvious response: "On to the next fuck!"

I kept asking myself "What did I just experience? What did I just do with this other person? Call it pleasure, but where did the pleasure come from?" Call me a materialist, but I refused to believe it came from some overhead eternity. And I refused to believe that it was an arbitrary construction.

And again, "What next?"

Oxytocin is neither a simple nor a superficial resource in dealing with this question. I know that what I just experienced had something to do with pair-bonding. I feel bonded to this other person. For how long? For richer or poorer, in sickness and health. If that's too hopelessly romantic for you, how about "just long enough so that this other person doesn't feel like they've been fucked over."

That, friends, is the "sexual experience that is more satisfying."

It does not bother me that this whatever-it-is did not come about via my rational choice -- that it is in some deep sense "beyond me." As I said, a million years of evolution means something. Our bodies may not have been divinely dictated (in the pre-modern world view), but neither are they self-constructed or even socially constructed (in the post-modern world view).


Or consider A, B and C as stages in a relationship. There has to be a first time, which is A. Maybe there was a second time... and if you weren't paying much attention, you thought it was "just B." But if you're doing it beyond that, either you've reached C... or you'd better move on to a new A, because that relationship ain't goin anywhere. And next time, consider what I said above. If you're at A, and you're not thinking "What next?" then ask yourself... "Am I fucking, or just fucking somebody over?"

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